6.21.2006
More than Two
Most of you know how often our family frequents McDonald's. Why is this? Well, the number one reason is that it is the only restaurant in America that can provide lunch for all seven of us for under $22.00. Not bad. Not bad at all.
I've been at this McDonald's game for a while. And today, while coming home from Jane's 18 month well-check, we stopped by once again--just to say "Hi." Oh--and to order a few burgers because the well-check took an hour longer than anticipated. After getting 2 miles down the road and discovering ONE LONE NAPKIN in the bag--I mentally composed a letter to all drive thru workers at McDonalds EVERYWHERE.
Dear McDonald's Drive-Thru Worker: I realize that you are probably about 17 years old and have never experienced the pain of having special sauce drip down your 10 year old's arm all the while telling your oldest to please be careful because the baby has the fruit and yogurt parfait all over her (ENTIRE) face. You probably don't even ever have to eat in your car--because you're never been in a hurry to get your baby down for her afternoon nap which she desperately needs because she received 3 immunizations and a throat culture during what is usually known by all as her "morning nap time." But would you PLEEEEEZE, PLEEEEEZE have mercy on me by giving me a big, fat, huge wad of napkins each and everytime you see my full-to-capacity mini-van at your little window?? And in a rare moment, when I do have the wherewithall to remember to ask for the extra napkins, could you PLEEEEZE have the common decency to hand me more than "two" extras? When I say "Extra napkins, please"- give me the mother load would ya? I'm talking twenty napkins, lady. Because, let's see--I have 7 people in my family and one of those is a RNC. (Rapid Napkin Consumer.) I pray that one day you will grow up and marry as happily as I have and be blessed with the privilege of raising many RNCs of your own. But until then, EXTRA NAPKINS people. Sincerely, Michelle RayWow! That letter's been a long time coming. I feel so much better.
10 Comments:
okay...so first when I read "ONE LOAN NAPKIN"...I began getting grossed out...I thought you meant...a "used" napkin... LOL!!! After I read on..I realized you meant a single, solitary napkin!!! That is crazy...all those bags of food and one napkin. Go figure...I'm always just thankful we get the right items and they look right/clean if you know what I mean...
Heh-heh. That should have read "ONE LONE NAPKIN." Sorry to have grossed you out. Yuck! It was not a LOANED napkin.
I was reading a bit too quickly and thought maybe RNC meant 'RUNNY NOSED CHILDREN!' Had to go back and see what you meant (maybe there's a subliminal message here?). Har har!
We eat at Subway a lot (we can feed everyone on the weekend for under $20 when they have 2 footlongs for 7.99) and I swear it must be part of their workers' basic training to put one napkin PER footlong. What a mess. I'll CC your letter and send it to my neighborhood Subway! Thanks for putting all the legwork into it for me!
I can totally relate!!! This was so funny... :)
You go get 'em, girlfriend...
I'M DYING OVER HERE!!! I CAN'T BREATHE!!!!!
Hysterical, lady. Absolutely hysterical. I hope you will mail that letter.
you're hilarious, girl! I'll get to experience this first-hand pretty soon! give me those RNC's and those extra napkins!
Is this letter copyrighted? I would love to borrow it myself and send it out to all FF restuarants around my home. I think that you just hit the nail on the head for all Mommies everywhere!
Angie-
Well, I didn't REALLY send this letter. I just "thought" this letter. :) Feel free to send it to McDonald's everywhere. Maybe we'll start a napkin revolution!! :)
Katherine- I'm checking out Subway next weekend. :)
ROFLOL, I don't remember now how I came across your blog, but that is so true. Why is it that you can order 4 super combos and still get 1 knapkin? Too funny.
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