If you haven't noticed, I've been to quite a few weddings lately. The last two were of the fairy tale variety. Truly--the stuff dreams are made of. The Bridal March bellows out of the organ, the doors in the back swing open wide and here she comes! Beautiful, all in white, glowing. And then--my favorite part. The preacher performs the beautiful tradition of asking the father of the bride: “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" The father replies, "I do" or "her mother and I," and then he lovingly places her hand into the hand of the groom and takes his seat, thereby symbolically saying, "I've worked hard to take care of her and now I am trusting you to take over from here." Call me old fashioned. I know. I like being a woman--someone who needs protecting and caring. I Peter calls us the weaker vessels and instructs husbands to give us honor and to dwell with us with understanding. I'll take that! God made us different from the men and the differences are beautiful. In Let Me Be a Woman, Elisabeth Elliott writes:

God is this maker of distinctions. He crowned His stupendous work of creation by bringing forth the most glorious of earthly creatures—man—made in His image and destined to rule over the rest of the earth. But even this creature appeared in two distinct forms: male and female. The distinction was God’s idea. We wouldn’t have thought of it. Imagine a sexless world. If you’re looking for Dullsville, that would be it, wouldn’t it? We’ve had enough hints of what it would be like in the unisex world of blue jeans. When men and women accept the sexual difference and enjoy it, they put color and design and variety into life. When they begin to deny it or to feel that it should somehow be blurred, they take all the color out (except for denim blue—and they are careful to take even some of that out, with Clorox, before the color is acceptable!). It’s hard to tell the men from the women at a college weekend retreat: the down-filled vests, the turtlenecks, the jeans, the waffle-stompers, the hair hanging in the eyes, the backpacks.

"The distinction was God's idea,". Yes. Something about that resonates with me. And I feel that we need to be teaching our sons and daughters about this. How to do this? A few thoughts-- 1. Teach your sons to treat their sisters and mother with chivalry. In our family, we look for opportunities to do this. For example, when we stay in a hotel (as we've done too often recently!!) with only enough bedding for 4, the boys take the floor and let the girls have the beds. The boys should be opening doors and carrying bags for their mother too. There is no reason on earth for mom to look like a pack mule as she enters the church doors. One son can take the baby bag; another can hold the door open. 2. Teach your daughters to dress femininely. I always hate to see a girl who doesn't even know how to sit in a dress properly because she's been dressing like a man for her entire life. My brother in law, John, told me that the female midshipman had to be instruced on how to sit with their legs together in a skirt because so many of them had never been told before. Please don't send me an email telling me that we need to show compassion to all of the girls who show up in our churches dressed in fatigues and combat boots and a tattoo plastered somewhere on their person. OF COURSE!!! That is NOT what this post is about and if that's what you're thinking about, you've missed the point completely. 3. Talk to your children about God's design. Our oldest daughter already knows that when she reaches "dating age" (which won't be until after she graduates from highschool) that it will NEVER BE APPROPRIATE for her to be doing the calling or the asking. When I hear of a young lady who is calling a boy, I make an example of her with my children and declare, "Bless her heart! Her mother never taught her any better." Since my husband's brother has been at the Naval Academy for the past four years, the subject of "women in combat" has come up and this has given us many opportunities to talk about God's design for men and women. We take the position that it has never been God's design for women to be soldiers. Al Mohler says:

Christian moral teaching holds that military service is for men — not women. The Bible presents a comprehensive pattern of differentiation between men and women. Men are to protect women, even as women bear a special responsibility as nurturers — as wives and mothers. Scriptural texts indicate that war is for men, and “wives,” and “little ones,” are to remain in the land while men go to war [Joshua 1:14]. Christians have understood this pattern for centuries, even if some appear confused in the present."

----- Boys and girls; men and women--are different. By design. And as I sit with my five children around our supper table each evening, I often appreciate the diversity which God has created in them. His ways are so beautiful. Enjoy them. And train your children to enjoy them and to glorify God forever.